Who knew
by thesheepishchild
Summary: Throughout all his years of schooling, Hikigaya has always found himself being a loner. He has always been a outcast and ignored by his fellow classmates. But he always kept his head down and his expectations low. With so many years of never feeling accepted what happens when the walls he built, finally start to fall.
1. Chapter 1

Hikigaya would bluntly admit that he was a loner. However if asked if he was ever bullied he would also bluntly say no.

Hayama learned that one of those two statements were not true. Since he'd asked Hikigaya to go with him to Chiba with his old middle school classmates he'd learned more about his middle school life.

In his opinion the other had been bullied. Ruthlessly. Who laughs at a schoolmate when getting an award!

As for high school, Hayama at first would have said the other wasn't bullied.

During their first year, Hachiman in the beginning would be left alone. He was a loner and didn't associate himself with others or any clubs. But throughout the year he had join a club and participated in activities. He had placed a spotlight on himself and his unusual ways. By the end of the year he had went over the line a few times.

People talked and people began to learn more about the unknown Hikigaya. The story of him and Sagami went through the classes like wildfire. Some people grew upset at this, especially over the fact that he had never apologized.

But after time passed, Hayama thought it was water under the bridge. Life was going on its usual routine, until he noticed that Hachiman never came back to class from lunch one day.

He noticed when class was over that his bag was taken by Totsuka. This one moment was all it took for Hayama and Yuigahama to look up from their group's conversation.

It was as if someone opened the blinds to a dimly lit room that Yuigahama and Hayama were sitting in.

After that day, they started watching the other from afar. Hayama noticed the other was getting more withdrawn. Even around Yuigahama and Yukino.

He knew most of the trios' antics, and how Yukino sometimes said cold things to Hikigaya. But the other day while helping one of their clubs activities, was the first time her words seemed to actually hit him.

He had complained loudly about time and how he wanted to go home to his family. Yukinoi heard this and sighed coldly and said. "Would they even notice your absence?""

His usual cold dead fish eyes flashed with hurt. But he remained silent and simply just moved to start on the next task. Yukino didn't say another word to him and actually looked guilty.

Hayama continued to watch him from afar. He didn't dare talk to him about what he was worried about.

Hachiman believed the bullied had to give their consent to feel bullied. Yuigahama and he however began to talk about what they feared. Their conversations overlapped into the group's hearing and soon they too began to glance at the loner.

They tried to hush the two about how Hikigaya didn't care about other's opinions. He was too weird for that. But the day Hikigaya didn't return to class was the day the entire group started to fully look at the other.

They saw how he was arriving right at when the tardy bell rang. How he rarely looked at them anymore from afar. To many times, he seemed to be lost in his thoughts only to be brought out by a flash of hurt coming across his face.

His defenses that held strong for too long, were slowly falling and they were afraid what would happen when it finally crumbled.

* * *

Im sorry I just wanted a bullied Hikigaya fic so badly! So the next chapters are going to be where some significant characters see Hikigaya being bullied and realizing they dont know as much as they thought they did of him.

Hope you liked the intro and Review please?


	2. Chapter 2

If someone asked if Miura had any friendship with Hikigaya, she would glare at them until they left. She didn't want her reputation being tainted by association with the loner of their grade.

Yes, she would admit the other had been tagging along in her group for the past few months. She didn't mind his company really. And when she felt he was overstepping the line she'd pushed him back. He kept to himself and they rarely interacted with one another.

She couldn't lie though when Hayama asked if she noticed a difference in him. He was more quiet and she couldn't remember the last time he talked.

These days he just seemed to fade in the background in class. He didn't talk, throw in his unwanted opinion or even stare creepily at the group.

Hayama and Yui were determined to find out what was wrong with the loner. Miura saw it as annoying and told them just to leave it be. Hikigaya could take care of himself.

She told the two that she wasn't going to be part of whatever they were planning. Again she had her reputation to think of.

She ignored them until she couldn't ignore the issue any longer.

When the school day ended, students quickly gathered their bags to go to their respected clubs or homes. Miura and Ebina however were still sitting down talking about their evening plans. It was Monday and they had a routine for this day.

To cure the Monday blues they would go out for a treat after school. They talked about possible places to go while rejecting Tobe and the other boys who wanted to join them.

Miura already getting annoyed by them decided to walk and talk. Leaving them, the two made their way outside.

Miura and Ebina were walking out of school trying to decide if they should stick to a treat or grab an early dinner. They were talking aloud until

Miura spotted a familiar face and turned to the figure by the bike stands. She stopped herself when she realized who she was going to look at.

She was about to look at Hikigaya.

He was standing next to his bike, head low and fingers busy on his lock. He was fiddling with something else but Miura already lost interest. Her stare lingered though and she froze when the other suddenly began to turn his head.

She saved herself by flipping her hair and looked away from the other. She picked up the conversation, and the two girls walked away from the school. They stopped at a cafe and ate in comfortable silence with the occasional comment. They later grabbed dessert and talked to their content.

They were forced to stop though when they saw how dark it was getting. With night approaching soon, the girls quickly made their way. They decided to take the train home to avoid walking in the dark.

Walking to the train station Ebina told Miura about a new story she was writing.

Before she could explain how the two characters ended up in the storage closet, she stopped. Wondering why her friend stopped, Miura looked at the other and saw her intense gaze. She looked in the same direction as she was and tried to find what she looking at.

She followed her gaze and when she spotted the focus of her friends attention she asked in surprise that she forget to intentionally mess up his name. "Is that Hikigaya?"

He was off his bike and pushing it on the sidewalk. Again his eyes were casted down and she felt uneasy looking at him. But she always felt uneasy around him, why would this time be different.

Ebina's gaze never lifting she asked. "Was there club today?"

Miura didn't know why her friend's interest in Hikigaya made her feel a bit of anger. She snapped back in reply. "How would I know."

The sound of a train coming caused Miura to ask with a hint of panic. "Does he usually take the train?"

She didn't want him talking to them. People might see and people would begin to talk. She looked back and saw their train was coming. And yet they stood there still staring at Hikigaya.

Ebina said nothing for a moment before finally informing the other. "I heard from Yui he actually lives pretty far. He always comes with his bike."

And yet there he was. Pushing his bike, miles away from home and with night quickly approaching.

Tired of playing this game and not wanting to miss their train, Miura decided to end this. When the other was close enough she shouted loud enough. "Hey Hikitani!"

He looked up at her and Miura froze for a second before she continued. "You know you'll move faster if you actually get on and move the pedals! Or Did you forget how to ride a bike?"

A dry smile tugged at his lips and he ducked his head down. Eye contact broken, Miura felt uncomfortable and when their train arrived she quickly went in. She avoided any further contact with him by digging through her bag for her phone as the train's doors closed.

Finally retrieving the device she looked up to find Ebina still looking outside. Her eyes followed Hikigaya and when the train began to move her gaze still lingered.

Finally she looked away and looked up towards the blonde. "Someone messed with his bike."

"What makes you say that."

Ebina's hands clenched her skirt when she replied. "His tires were flat."

They didn't talk for the rest of the train ride. They were dying to know if something had happened to his bike. Ever since the day he didn't come back to class, he had been acting different.

Sure enough the next day they saw him walking through the school gates, head down and hands in his pocket.

They never greeted each other so it would be weird if Miura just approached him. And she didn't want others see her talking to him. She couldn't even imagine what people would say if they saw her talking to him alone.

So she waited for her chance. When she spotted him heading to the vending machine she too went. They approached the machines at the same time, and without looking at the other she asked.

"Where's your bike?"

The hunched figure replied instantly. "It needs to get fixed." He didn't wait for her reply and instead picked up his purchase and left.

Returning to class a few moments later she saw Hikigaya was sitting alone. The blonde noticed that Yui seemed to be having an internal battle. Probably whether or not should she approach Hikigaya. However, before she could make a decision the tennis kid approached Hikigaya.

The two had a quiet conversation that ended with Hikigaya with a mild blush as the tennis kid squeezed his hand.

She blamed Hayama and Yui for her sudden interest in the other. But she couldn't lie that she too wanted to know what was happening.

This is why when Ebina pulled her in the hallway and whispered something about Hikigaya, she decided to tolerate it. They were silent as they peeked over the hallway ledge. Miura saw why Ebina pulled her.

Though the hall was busy with people grabbing their shoes, Hikigaya was staring into his. He was just standing in front of his shoe locker. His face could've looked the same to anyone but they were looking. They saw the way his usual frown was deeper.

But it was eyes that told them something was wrong. His dead fish eyes were filled with raw emotion. Anger? Embarrassment? Confusion?

They didn't know, and could only watch. They heard him sigh countless times but this one wasn't like the usual. His sigh was short and deep. It was filled with hurt.

"Should we do something?" Ebina asked with a hint of worry.

"I don't know." Miura answered honestly.

They watched Hikigaya grab his shoes roughly from his locker. They expected him to change into them, but instead he opened his bag and tucked them inside.

The actions were on two different levels. He had grabbed the shoes with such aggression, but when he placed them it seemed to echo with defeat.

They watched still hidden, as he fixed the strap on his bag and left the building. The two looked at each other and each face was twisted with an unfamiliar emotion.

They felt guilt.

* * *

Thank you for everyone who reviewed. The new season gave me inspiration to start writing again. Can't wait to update with more angsty Hikigaya!


	3. Chapter 3

Today was the day.

Finally after waiting all week, today was his classmate's birthday party. It was going to be at a park and the classmate had told him all the great things that were going to be there.

He was so excited.

This was the first birthday he had been invited to. It wasn't the first birthday a classmate had though.

But this time he was invited! Finally!

His stomach was a wreck as nerves hit him when his mom and him jumped into the car.

His mom had even volunteered to drive him! The idea of his mother taking time away from his little sister and her work showed just how important Hachiman had made this event.

Reaching the park where his classmate told him the birthday party was going to be, Hikigaya looked for any signs of the birthday.

He was wearing his best shirt and had spent all his allowance on a present. He was smiling nervously. He had been finally invited to a birthday party. He looked excitedly out the car window for classmates or party decorations. His wide eyes scanned the area in excitement for the ice cream man his classmate told him about.

But There was none. And there were no decorations. No balloons, children running or any decorations. There was nothing.

His chest suddenly felt tight and his stomach dropped. A horrible feeling hit him and he felt very nervous. His hold on the present got tighter and he felt like he was going to cry.

His mother drove around the park three more times before she finally sighed and with her patience running thin she said. "I don't think this is the right park. Here let me see the invitation."

The park was deserted except for a few old people walking. The excitement was swallowed by nervousness and doubt. The present in his lap felt like it was crushing him. The invintation in his back pocket felt like it was burning him.

The giggles and the side glances his classmates were making when he was given the invite came back to him.

He had been tricked

"I lost it." He said quietly.

"Honey I can't drive to every park in the city. I have to go back to work."

"Okay." He replied. His throat felt tight and his eyes burned with tears.

"Next time don't throw it away." His mother glanced at the rearview mirror and tried her best to comfort her son. "There will be other parties."

He didn't say anything and instead focused on not letting the tears fall. Maybe the party had been moved and his classmate didn't have his phone number.

Yeah, that had happened. His hope that was slowly dying emerged again and though he was disappointed the hurt slowly faded.

Once the weekend was over, he made sure to take the present and pack it into his school bag.

He walked with speed to his classroom but stopped when he saw a large group of his classmates were all staring at him.

The tight feeling in his chest came back and his eyes glanced through all the faces that were staring at him. His nervous wide eyes landed on the classmate that had invited him. He was getting ready to smile at him and reach for the present when the classmate sarcastically asked with a smirk. "Hey how was the party Hikaya?"

The question caused a burst of laughter among the group and he never felt so small. His hands fell from reaching his bag and he stood there unsure of what to do.

He couldn't stop himself when he turned away and walked out of the room. Their laughter still ringing in his ears.

He missed his first two classes and stayed in the restroom. Tears staining his face and his stomach in knots. He went to the nurses office and laid there till lunch.

When he finally returned to his classroom, his eyes remained down the entire school day.

That day he lost a little bit of spark in his eyes.

1234

Tobio gave his brightest smile and shouted even though the person he was talking to was only a few feet from him. "We're going to karaoke, come with Hikitan! "

The cold stare lingered on him and he felt a bit uneasy with the one sided conversation. He fixed his headband while concluding the awkward situation. "Here's the location."

His hand and the business card for the location stayed in the air, still reaching. Tobio was surprised just how odd the other became the moment the paper was brought out. He eyed the paper but first scanned the area.

As if he was looking for someone or something.

Finally he took the paper, he didn't even look at it. His hand just fell back to his side and he walked away.

Tobio didn't know what to make of it but still yelled at the other. "You can meet us there."

He had meant to tell the others about inviting Hikitan but somehow he totally forgot and it wasn't till the end of the day did he remember.

He only remembered because he was met with a glare and a monotone voice that reminded him of the invite.

"I can't go." That was all that was said and then Hikitan was walking away. Thrown off guard he closed the distance between them and asked with a hint of disappointment.

"Why, you already have plans. You didn't mention any when I asked you."

The dead gaze changed before his eyes and he was pierced with the glare that was sent his way. Hikitan looked away and walked past him.

He rubbed the back of his head and wondered what was wrong with the other male. Who wouldn't want to hang out with him and the others. They always had a good time.

And sure enough they did. They sang, ate snacks and laughed. It was a lot of fun and as he recalled the happy memories he wondered if it was Hikitan's type of fun.

He couldn't imagine him singing in front of girls. Or singing some of the songs he and the boys jokingly did. Maybe he liked a different kind of fun.

That night he fell asleep with a smile and woke up with determination.

So maybe Hachiman wasn't a karaoke guy. Maybe he was a cafe guy. He was always drinking that canned coffee. Or maybe he wasn't comfortable with the ladies

He could totally work with this!

A couple days later he saw his classmate buying something from the vending machine. He watched as the other pulled out his money and saw him pull off his gloves.

The idea that the other was wearing gloves inside was a bit odd. Yeah, it was cold and winter was coming but the school had a great heater. He had taken his coat off the moment he stepped into the classroom.

But the other had kept his jacket and gloves on. And Tobio realized why when he watched him take off his gloves.

Bandages were wrapped all across his right palm and all his fingers. He grabbed the coffee with the bandaged hand and he watched as the tension in his face fell for a moment as he smelled the freshly opened coffee.

He wasn't even aware that the other could look that relax or that he had been tense this entire time.

His staring was broken when the sound of heavy steps filled the hallway. Tobe noticed how immediately the other picked up his bag, that he now carried with him at all times, and went to the stairs.

Again Hikigaya, came to the classroom right as the tardy bell rang. Gloved hands brought out his books and Tobe felt like he was going to explode with knowing the reality to the gloves.

Throughout the remaining classes he fidgeted and tried to not stare at the other but failed miserably. By the last five minutes of the class his entire group had started giving him odd looks.

Finally the moment the bell rang he raced against Hikigaya to the gates. How the shorter male managed to outpace him was a mystery.

Before he made it to the gates Tobe stopped him by grabbing his bag and pulling him back. Not sure why the other was in a hurry and not wanting to make matters worse for him, he quickly said. "Hey there's a really cool coffee shop that opened downtown. It'd be just us guys. You should come with us. I heard the cof-

"Stop inviting me places."

The interruption was quick and brutal. So was the push he received when Hikitan walked past him.

Tobe was shocked for a moment, but then it was replaced with anger. He spun around and this time stopped himself in front of the other. He jabbed his finger to his chest and his anger made him overlook the pain that spread across Hikigaya's face.

"Hey what's your problem. If you think you're too good to hang out with us-"

Again Hikigaya cut him off and spat back. "Stop inviting me to places. I don't want to be seen with you. "

Anger filled Tobe now and he yelled back. "That's your problem, you think you're better than anyone else and think everyone's after you. Jokes on you, nobody cares about you!"

Whatever reply Hikigaya had, died and a look of raw pain flashed on his face before the dead eyes returned. Tobe watched all this and just as fast as the anger filled him, it left.

"Wait. That came out wrong." He tried to correct the situation but Hikitan again walked past him. This time he didn't bump into him, though.

Guilt filled him and he tried to correct the situation. Again he tried to stop the other this time grabbing his collar.

"Wait Hiki-."

He stopped talking and everything seemed to freeze. All he could focus on was what was covering the back of Hikitan's neck.

It was a large bruise. It was blue and purple and Tobe remembered when a soccer ball to the thigh had left him the same colored bruise. He knew how hard a impact was needed to get that color.

He remembered how badly it hurt. But more important he remembered how days had passed to get it to that color. The bruise was old.

"Hey hey, wait." He stuttered and tried to do the right thing. But what was that?

His grip was lost by Hikitan pulling away, his eyes looking into his and knowing that he had saw the bruise.

Tobe was going to say something, anything really, when Hayama appeared. It was only then that Tobe noticed they had attracted a small crowd of spectators, one including Hayama.

"What's the problem here. " Hayama was asking both of them but staring at Hiktan. With him now in the situation even more people were staring now. And Tobe was afraid of what Hikitan was planning to do.

He could only watch helplessly as he saw Hikitan once again turn the situation into something entirely different.

"Stop talking to me. Why would I want to hang out with a bunch of losers like you?"

The crowd of students all gasped and began to talk. Insults and soon to be gossip were whispered in hushed voices. With just a few words Hikitan made everyone see him as the bad guy. When he walked away, no one stopped him. Instead they all crowded Hayama and himself. All wanting to know what just happened.

He looked at his friend and saw that Hayama had understood what just happened. With a wave of his hand he motioned him to walk away. With a smile to the crowd Hayama excused them.

The first words that came out of his mouth were frantic as something like this had never happened to him.

"He's in trouble."

He told Hayama everything. The gloves and the bandages. The invitations to their hangouts. And finally he told about the bruise.

And that was when Hayama finally began to ask questions. He answered the best he could and when they finally left the school grounds he felt sick to his stomach.

He didn't sleep at all that night. Someone was hurting Hikitan. Physically hurting him. He never knew anyone before who was being bullied.

He wondered why Hikitan never went to anyone to ask for help. He had friends. Yukino and Yui were in the club with him. They had to know what was happening right?

But maybe Hikitan kept it to himself. Maybe he didn't think they could help him.

His chest hurt from just the idea that someone he knew was being physically hurt. He didn't like it.

But he would help Hikitan.

Tomorrow they started with physical education. He could tell coach. An adult would know what to do.

He finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. When he woke up it was to his alarm and he for a moment thought of skipping school. He felt utterly exhausted and in his haze he couldn't remember why he felt so terrible.

And then it hit him like a truck.

Adrenaline filled him and he quickly got out of bed. His heart was racing and he hoped he could catch his teacher alone and tell him everything.

He would save Hikitan from whoever was hurting him! And he would have the help of a teacher. Their soccer coach was also their physical education teacher and he trusted the older man with such a sensitive topic.

He arrived early to the gym and hoped his coach would be there already. Poking his head into the locker room, he saw no one. He was going to look somewhere else when he heard a locker opening and soft mumbling.

Instinct told him to investigate and he silently walked to where the sound was coming from. Again he peeked inside the row of changing lockers and saw a lone figure.

Tobe felt his stomach drop and his mouth go dry. Hikitan was changing with his back towards him. Again the bruise on his neck was there to see but this time he also saw the bruises on his back.

Tobe was horrified to also scratches were across his back. His skin was red and angry and he winced when he put his gym shirt on.

It was then that he turned around and finally noticed he wasn't alone. He at first jumped in fear with seeing someone was behind him and Tobe felt anger fill him. The taller male watched as the fear was quickly played off as disinterest.

He felt small when he realized he should say something. The situation was soon becoming awkward and the two were alone again.

Finally he blurted out.

"Hikitan, whoever is messing with you I'll stop them. Coach is really nice and he'll help you. One time when some third years were going to far in their teasing, Coach-"

"Leave it."

Tobe was taken aback at how he was cutoff again.

He couldn't just leave it. Someone was hurting him and it had to be stopped.

" Someone did this to you, right?" He demanded. Again his frustration with the other overrode his emotions. "Who's bullying you!"

The pale face of the shorter male in front of him twisted into a scowl. The dead eyes flashed with life and they glared at him. The other spatted at him. "I'm not being bullied!"

Lies. Hikitan was trying to lie to his face. He needed to know the answer. So he yelled back. "Then where are all these injuries coming from!"

He walked forward and closed the distantce between them. He didn't know why he was so angry. Just looking at Hikitan and seeing him try to lie and rejecting his help infuriated him.

"I said leave it." The other demanded. Again he tried to leave the room but Tobe cornered him. He placed his arms on each side of him and caged him.

"No!" He screamed, control and anger now fully lost. He needed to help Hikitan!

The scream was followed by a heavy footsteps and an older male voice booming in the locker room.

"What's going on in here?"

From months of practicing with responding to that voice, Tobe spun around and cried out. "Coach, Hikitan-"

He never got to say what he wanted. Instead Hikitan cut him off with his own yell. A yell filled with such hatred and disrespect. "My names not Hikitan you fucking idiot!"

The adult in the room stared in shock at the black haired male. The student who never interacted with others and stayed quiet most of the semester had just cursed and insulted a fellow student in front of him. He was stunned for a moment, and then he regained his bearings.

With his chest out he pointed a finger to the student and bellowed out. "Hikigaya, my office now!"

"Hikita-!" Tobe was lost and Hikitan, no Hiki, shit that wasn't his name, had once again manipulated the situation. He was free from Tobe and going to get in trouble.

His arms acted out faster than his brain. With a swing of his arm he barricaded the other from walking past him. His movements so fast he didn't recognize that he actually just cloths lined the other in the stomach.

"Coach, no! There's guys who-"

Tobe stopped when he heard a gag followed by the sound of liquid hitting the ground. He instantly recoiled and stepped back.

He stuttered out an apology and winced as another stream of vomit came out of the smaller male. A groan filled the room and both Tobe and Coach were shocked at what just happened.

Finally the Coach reacted. He stepped towards the unbalanced teen and put a steady hand on his shoulder. "Hikigaya, sit down."

He was grateful the student didn't fight him and sat heavily down. He folded into himself and pressed his forehead info his knees. The two noticed how tight his jaw was and how his fingers were clenched into fists.

"Tobe tell the nurse to come down here. "

Tobe could only nod and run to the nurses office, leaving behind the room that was starting to smell foul. When the two returned the situation had gotten worse.

Hikigaya was laying on a bench on his side. Face pale and sweat now on his forehead. He could only stare as the adults talked over Hikigaya. The coach had called an ambulance when Hikigaya started complaining about chest pains.

Even Tobe could clearly see this was over the nurse's head. Since he was just observing the scene he also didn't miss the look of disgust that washed over her face when she saw the vomit. Glancing at Hikigaya he saw that he hadn't missed it either.

He watched in pity as shame and embarrassment hit the other. Unfortunately his presence was noticed and he could only watch as Hikit-, wait no Hikigaya mumbled something to coach.

Right away the coach looked at Tobe and told him firmly.

"Tobe wait outside, flag the ambulance down when you see them. And don't let anyone in."

He followed the instructions and waited outside. When he arrived with the paramedics he came in time to hear the ending of the conversation between the teacher and student.

He felt like he was smacked in the face when he overheard Hikigaya talking to coach.

"So your bike's breaks broke, huh."

"Yes, it's a pretty old bike, it was bound to happen."


	4. Chapter 4

"No one likes you."

"Don't talk to me. You're disgusting"

"Hikigerma!"

"You should just disappear."

Going to school was horrible. He woke up to stomach pains and everytime he reached the school gates his chest felt tight.

He hoped every morning would be the day where he would be left alone. But his hopes again were crushed the moment he walked into the door.

For being so unliked, his classmates really liked paying attention to him.

Games with his name in it as a germ. Girls constantly whispering his name and when he looked towards them they would start laughing.

He just wanted to disappear.

After another day of kids teasing him, he felt instant relief when he walked into his home.

He knew he was going to be alone since his parents were still at work and his little sister took a long time walking home. She actually had friends to walk with and talk to.

The thought of his younger sister having a failure as a brother caused a sob to break out.

Maybe because he was such a failure is why they weren't close. Komachi was loved by all, and everyday had a new story at dinner to tell their parents about her friends.

His food was tasteless during those times. He just focused on putting food in his mouth.

If he had food in his mouth his parents weren't going to ask him questions about HIS friends right? Friends he didn't have.

Why couldn't he make friends?

What was he doing wrong!

He didn't know why he asked that question. It was so painful.

The pain in his chest came back and he felt his eyes sting. He ran into the restroom and closed the door.

Turning on the shower he let the water run before the tears started falling. What was wrong with him?

He stayed in there until the sobs quieted and a painful headache now resided in his skull. Going into his bedroom he looked at the mirror and couldn't stop feeling of disgust fill him.

He was so ugly.

The kids were right. He was a disease.

His eyes. His dead fish eyes.

He was disgusting.

That night he complained he wasn't feeling well, when his mother knocked on his door. She didn't force him to sit with them and that small act he was thankful for.

His mother was the nicest of his parents. She gave him space and when Komachi talked about her friends she always changed the topic afterwards.

Maybe he could talk to her?

Tomorrow was the weekend. She could talk to him without the pressure of catching the train and starting her work day.

He could talk to someone.

His stomach was in knots the next morning as he stalled outside his parents' room. He really wanted to talk to someone.

Maybe they could help him become someone that would be liked by his classmates.

They could fix him.

The glimmer of hope of being fixed gave him enough courage to open the door.

The sight of his parents sleeping faces almost made him step out but he took a few more steps to his mother's side.

The sound of his father's stern voice stopped him though. He looked from his mother's sleeping face to his father's disapproving eyes.

Matching eyes stared at one another for a few tense moments.

"Your mother and I need to sleep, Hachiman."

"Dad. I...i know I just.." He never got to tell his father what he needed as a small body ran past him and onto the bed.

"Daddy!" A high pitch squeal filled the room and the disproving eyes changed to transform into an overexcited gaze.

"There's my little girl!" He watched as his little sister was scooped into the bed and placed in the middle of his parents "Did you have sweet dreams?"

"I dreamed daddy got me ice cream." Komachi answered sweetly with an innocent smile.

"Well daddy has to make his little girl's dreams come true!"

There was movements now on the other side of the bed and a sleepy voice tugged at the youngest family member."

"Komachi needs to give mama a hug."

Hachiman watched the scene in front of him and felt out of place. Again the tight feeling attacked his chest and a small voice in the back of his head urged him to leave.

He silently walked out and went back to his room. He was hoping someone would call him back, but there was nothing.

He crawled back to bed and tried to breathe through the pain. It felt like his chest was going to collapse and he had no idea why.

That morning he made the biggest discovery of his life. The moment of realization gave way to tears but at last the sensation of his chest breaking in half lifted.

He was just extra.

If anyone could be lost, it should be him.

If anything happened to Komachi the family would fall apart entirely.

If either his parents died they would struggle.

It was at a young tender age that Hachiman realized that he was just an extra piece in his family.

He felt something inside him break and he stayed inside his room all day. Red puffy eyes an easy giveaway to his tears. He felt such extreme mental pain that he cried himself to sleep. The pain of being overlooked and yet still being the focus of such cruel punishment were tearing him apart.

But then he imagined scenarios where an intruder would break into his home and make his parents choose between their children. Only one could live.

He would volunteer and he would be so brave about it. A true man in a terrifying situation.

Hachiman twisted this discovery where he became a protector .

So much power that it was almost scary. He was the savior of his family. The extra piece that would keep the family whole.

He was their savior. He had a reason to be in this family. He hadn't felt good about himself in such a long time and whenever he was hurt by his family's actions or words he didn't let it bother him.

He was the savior, it was better that the family didn't have any attachment to him.

He noticed that school got a bit easier after that day.

But he didn't notice his eyes lost a bit of life in them that morning.

WKWKWKWKWKKWKWKWK

Zaimokuza's hands were clenched over his prized treasure. He had just finished his latest version of his novel. He was going to ask the service club to review it.

Their brutal words were a stab to his heart at times but his writing was flourishing because of the criticism. His characterization was better and dare he say it, original?

He was coming up with original ideas that had little influence from his favorite animes.

He was creating!

Such a beautiful feeling to be able to create a new world! New people! New worries and realistic reactions.

He held his head a bit higher as he got closer to the room. He was outside the hallway of the service room when his steps stopped. Something odd was happening.

He heard voices. Angry voices that were escalating as each moment passed. He focused on the noises and tried to make sense of them.

He listened to the escalating conversation between the members.

"It's fine." The sole male voice was somber with a hint of impatience. That was definitely Hikigaya.

"Hikki,you can't keep doing this."

"Did someone ask you to do this."

"No one asked me. Tobe is just being dramatic. You guys all are."

"You're not helping anyone by doing this." A pause and now anger was heard in the voice. "Whatever they're threatening you with-"

"No one is threatening me." He seemed angry now too.

"You went to the hospital!" That was definitely Yui's voice, cracking now and definitely showing that she was close to tears.

He felt dirty now for listening to such a private matter. But now that he heard that Hikigaya could be in trouble, he knew that he couldn't stop listening now.

"I didn't go to the hospital. They over reacted and called an ambulance."

"How'd you get those bruises!"

"My bike broke. I didn't catch myself in time."

"You're lying to us!"

"I'm protecting you two."

Silence for a tense second. And that's when Hikigaya lost the battle.

"From what!"

"You know we would never want this!"

"I can handle it. I've been doing this all my life. It doesn't bother me."

"That's a lie."

Hikigaya's next words were directed at Yukino.

"You should know just how powerful words are. As well as how meaningless they are."

The tense silent moment was enough for a reply for him.

But the third member still wasn't giving up.

"They're physically hurting you!"

"My bike broke!"

"Stop lying! How can you lie to our faces! Do you know how much this hurts us. Hiki!" A sob finished her sentence and a gasp of air was heard as she tried her best to even her voice.

"You wanted something genuine right! Or were you lying to us then too!"

The line was crossed.

"Hiki."

A chair scraping the floor as someone got up.

"Wait! Please. I don't care what it is, it can't be worse than seeing you like this."

He heard footsteps and like a coward he ran. He didn't know what he almost walked into but he didn't like it.

He hid by the lockers and watched Hikigaya leave the room. A glare covered his eyes leaving them hidden but his mouth was strained and teeth clenched down. Hands drawn in fists he left the school grounds without a backward glance.

-WKWKWK-

No one was home.

He thanked the gods for small blessings. He walked towards his room but stopped when he heard small padding coming towards him.

The family pet walked into his path and clawed at his leg. He bent down to pet the animal but flinched as something flared in his back. The beloved feline looked up at him with annoyance but just as his hand was going to touch the cat, he pulled away.

Hikigaya's hand returned to his side and felt heavy.

Even animals didn't like him.

It was the last crack that broke the dam.

His chest was becoming to tight and he couldn't help when the first drops of tears slid down his cheeks. His body hurt and his chest felt like it was going to crack in half.

He hadn't felt like this in years. He didn't know why these weaknesses were suddenly coming back.

Dirt was all over his uniform and he knew he needed to change before Komachi got home.

He wiped the tears away but they kept falling. The taste of blood on his lips caused a sob to escape.

His body ached but it was his mind that was hurting him. Reminding him over and over again that this was the best he could do.

He didn't mind it. He was used to it. For so long he was given the same treatment, he was used to it. What was the problem of the taunts turning into shoves.

Physical pain actually went away faster than mental.

Everything was okay.

He was in the bathroom now and looked up to see his reflection. He couldn't stop the tears now and sobs that rocked his aching body.

He hated what he saw in the mirror.

WKWKWKKWKWK-

Ive always been interested in Hikigaya's younger days. He and Komachi didn't have a relationship and he was verbally bullied in primary school. I just want everyone to know that I did try to refer to canon p, and I'm just pulling these out of thin air.


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